SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 1
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT IS A NEW EPIC NOVEL. BY ME LOL.
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB OF CAMELOT WAS RIDING ON A HORSE
WHEN SUDDENLY HE FELL OFF
THEN HE SAID "OH DEAR I'M DEAD"
HE DIED
THE END LOL
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 2
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB WAS WATCHING OVER HIS TOWER INSIDE
IT WAS VERY HIGH
JACOB SAW SOME INTRUDERS WALKING INTO THE CASTLE
JACOB WAS LIKE "OH NO"
SO HE LOOKED OVER AND SAID "WOAH THERE"
BUT WHEN HE LOOKED OVER HE LEANED OUT TOO FAR AND THEN HE FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW AND DIED
THE END LOL
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 3
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB AND HIS FRIENDS WERE HAVING A TEA PARTY
"RASINS FOR BREAKFAST EH WOT" SAID PIPPIN, A LOYAL ESCORT OF THE THRONE OF BUNGLEDORE.
"CHAD NEEDS SOME LANDREH" SAID GUS, THE MAN WHO WORKED AT THE BUTCHER SHOP.
"GOOD SHOW I SAY LADS" SAID THE QUEEN OF MARKENTIJUN.
THEY WERE HAVING FUN
THEN SUDDENLY A HURRICANE CAME INTO THE TOWN AND BLEW EVERYONE AWAY
EVERYONE DIED A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE DEATH
INCLUDING SIR JACOB WHO DIED FIRST LOL.
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 4
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB AND HIS FRIENDS WERE ON A BOAT
"LET'S RIDE THE WAVES OLD CHAPS" SAID GUS
"OH NO DEAR" SAID THE QUEEN OF MARKENTIJUN. "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING BITCH" SAID GUS
"FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE" SAID THE MAN WHO WORKED AT THE BUTCHERSHOP TO THE QUEEN
"FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKING PISS SHIT DICK HEADS" SAID THE QUEEN.
THE QUEEN THEN JUMPED OFF THE BOAT AND DROWNED HERSELF.
"HOORAY" SAID EVERYONE.
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 5
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB AND HIS FRIENDS WENT TO GO TO THE LOCAL CINEMAS.
THEY SAID "LET'S GO AND SEE TWILIGHT". THEY BOTH AGREED,
ONLY 2 SECONDS INTO THE MOVIE NONE OF THE PEOPLE LIKED IT, ESPECIALLY SIR JACOB
"THIS SHIT FUCKING SUCKS!" SAID SIR JACOB
SUDDENLY THE GUY FROM THE TWILIGHT MOVIE CAME OUT OF THE SCREEN AND SAID "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH" AND GRABBED JACOB. OH DEAR
JACOB WAS THEN TRANSPORTED INTO THE MOVIE SCREEN
"OH MY FUCKING GOD VAMPIRES HOLY SHIT" SAID JACOB
"I VANT TO SUCK YOUR DICK" SAID ONE OF THE VAMPIRES
"OH FUCK" SAID SIR JACOB
"I'M GOING TO SUCK IT SO HARD THAT THE HOLE ON THE TOP WILL GET BIGGER" SAID THE VAMPIRE
"OH FUCK" SAID SIR JACOB
"I'M GOING TO SHOVE A POLE IN YOUR ASS AND I'M GOING TO MOVE THE POLE IN YOUR ASS AROUND SO YOUR ASS WILL RIP OPEN" SAID THE VAMPIRE
"OH FUCK" SAID SIR JACOB
"I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU" SAID AN OLD MAN.
"OK" SAID SIR JACOB
SIR JACOB THEN GOT RAPED. "HOLY SHIT MY ABDOMEN" HE SCREAMED, AS HE WAS HOLDING ON TO HIS PENIS FOR DEAR LIFE. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY PENIS". THE VAMPIRE DID NOT LISTEN AND HE PULLED SIR JACOB'S PENIS OUT. RRRIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP IT WENT WITH SHREADS OF SAC RIPPING VIOLENTLY IN THE AIR. BLOOD STARTED TO RUSH OUT FROM THE EMPTY AREA OF WHERE SIR JACOB'S PENIS WAS. "FUCK FUCK FUCK" SAID SIR JACOB. "YOU BITCH" THE VAMPIRE THEN SAID "HAHAHAHHAA" AND RAN AWAY.
THE NEXT MORNING JACOB WOKE UP AND REALIZED THAT IT WAS ALL A DREAM.
LATER IN THE DAY, SIR JACOB AND HIS FRIENDS DECIDED THAT THEY SHOULD GO TO THE MOVIES TO SEE TWILIGHT.......................
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 6
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB AND HIS FRIENDS WENT TO THE SHOPS
"I'M GOING TO BUY PEARLS" SAID THE QUEEN OF MARKENTIJUN
"I'M GOING TO BUY MEAT' SAID GUS.
"I'M GOING TO BUY SOME FOOTS" SAID PIPPIN
"WHAT" SAID SIR JACOB
"I'M GOING TO BUY SOME FOOTS" SAID PIPPIN
"WHERE DOES THOU GET THESE SO CALLED FOOTS" SAID SIR JACOB
"AT YE OLDE BLACK MARKET SHOP" SAID PIPPIN. "I WENT THERE ONCE T O GET A NEW LIVER"
"JOYOUS STORY GOOD CHAP. LET US ALL GO AND GET SOME HUMAN FLESH NICK NACKS" SAID GUS
THE FRIENDS WENT TO THE BLACK MARKET. SOME FUCKING FAT ASS WHO WAS FAT AS FUCK WAS SITTING AT THE COUNTER
"FOOKEN WELCOM YA FOOKEN BARSTERDS" SAID THE FAT AS FUCK MAN. "WHOT THE FOOK CAN I DO FOR YOU FOOKING BASTARDS"
HE NOTICED PIPPIN
"OH, BLIMEY. PIPPIN, YOU FOOKING BOOTCH. YOU'RE MY FOOKING BERST CUNSTOMER" SAID HE.
"I KNOW GOOD CHAP" SAID PIPPIN. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR US TODAY OLD SPORT"
"TODAY I HAVE SOOMFIN SPOOCIALE." SAID THE FAT MAN.
HE WALKED OVER TO BEHIND THE COUNTER AND GOT OUT A GUN.
"HOLY SHIT HE'S GOT A MOTHER FUCKING GUN" SCREAMED SIR JACOB
"IT'S CALLED HUMAN TORSO" SAID THE FAT MAN/ "I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU SOME BUT RAN OUT. CAN WE BORROW YOURS GUYS?"
"OK" SAID SIR JACOB. "YOU CAN SHOOT US. FAT BITCH" LOL.
SO THEN THEY ALL GOT SHOT. "FOOKEN HALL" SAID THE FAT MAN. "THOOSE BITCHERS AR FOOKIN' STOOPID" SUDDENLY THE POLICE CAME BURSTING IN THE ROOM
"ORITE WHOTS ALL THOOSE THEN YA FUCKER" SAID A COP.
"OHHHH FOOOOOOOOOK SHITE" SAID THE FAT MAN
"I GOIN ARRARST YE FER MURDERERERERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
SAID A COP.
"FOOKIN' HELL, NOW LOOK WHO'S THE STOOPID ONE" SAID THE FAT MAN SHAMEFULLY.
HE HAGED HIMSELF IN JAIL THE NEXT DAY, EVERYONE WATCHED BUT NO ONE CARED
THE END LOL.
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 7
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB WAS IN HIS HOUSE
"IT'S A NICE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY FUCK YOU SUN STOP FUCKING BURNING MY EYES"
"WELL STOP LOOKING UP AT ME YOU BLIND FUCK" SAID THE SUN
JACOB GOT BLIND THEN THE NEXT DAY HE WALKED IN FRONT OF A CAR WHEN IT WAS DRIVING AND HE GOT BRUTALLY HIT
HIT HIT HIT
BANG WENT THE CAR TO JACOB'S BODY
BANG WENT THE BODY TO THE IMPACT OF JACOB'S CAR
JACOB FLEW
THEN HE DIED THE END LOL
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 8
TODAY JACOB GOES ON A JOURNEY TO VISIT THE MYSTERIOUS KNIGHT OF CAMELOT
WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS PERSON? LOL
SO ONE DAY JACOB WENT TO THE TOWER OF BLUNDERUMAR AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR
"WHO SHALL BE ETH THERE" SAID A VOICE
"TIS I, SIR JACOB, O HOLY NIGHT I WISH TO SPEAK TO THEE" SAID JACOB
THERE WAS SILENCE. THERE WAS MORE SILENCE
12 HOURS LATER THE DOORS OPENED
COME IN FRIEND" SAID THE KNIGHT
JACOB WENT IN THE ROOM
"HELLO DEAR" SAID JACOB
"DON'T CALL ME A DEAR YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH" SAID THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT
"WHO ARE YOU"SAID JACOB
"I'M THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT" SAID THE NIGHT OF CAMELOT
"DOESN'T RING A BELL" SAID JACOB
SUDDENLY THEY STARTED FIGHTING WITH ACTION SCENES LIKE THE MATRIX
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" THEY WENT IN SLOW MOTION
SUDDENLY JACOB CUT OFF THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT'S HEAD
HE WAS DEAD
HE CUT OFF HIS HEAD
AND HE WAS DEAD
HE CUT OFF HIS
HOLY SHIT HE'S DEAD
WHAT THE FUCK
BUT JACOB GOT SOME BRING BACK TO LIFE POTION AND BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE, EVEN THOUGH THE KNIGHT BRUTALLY ATTACKED HIM AND ALMOST KILLED HIM ANYWAY
"SORRY ABOUT THE FUSS OLD BOY" SAID JACOB
"I'M GAY" SAID THE KNIGHT
SO THEN THEY ALL HAD TEA, THEY WERE EARLY SO THEY DID NOTHING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY UNTIL TEA TIME, WHEREAS IN TEA TIME THEY HAD THE KNIGHT'S LIVER THAT WAS KNOCKED OUT OF HIM DURING THE BATTLE
"DELICIOUS" SAID JACOB
"I COULDN'T AGREE MORE" SAID THE KNIGHT
THEY STARTED TO LAUGH
IT WAS SUCH A JOYOUS DAY
THE END LOL
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 9
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB WAS SITTING ON HIS LAPTOP
LOL MEDIEVAL TIMES
"I'M GOING TO CHECK MY EMAIL" SAID HE
SO HE TYPED IN HIS EMAIL
THEN HE TYPED IN HIS PASSWORD.
SUDDENLY A SHOCKING ERROR MESSAGE APPEARED
"WOULD YOU LIKE A FREE SCREENSAVER" SAID THE MESSAGE THAT POPPED UP
JACOB THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT.
"YES" HE SAID
SO HE CLICKED ON THE LINK WHERE IT SAID "YOU'VE WON $10000. CLICK HERE."
HE THEN TYPED IN HIS PERSONAL DETAILS, INCLUDING WHERE HE LIVES WHICH IS
AND THEN AFTER HE GOT A EMAIL SAYING "YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HACKED"
AND THEN HIS COMPUTER TURNED OFF
OH NO
SO HE WENT TO GUS, THEN THE HE SAID "FUCK OFF MATE I'M NOT FIXING THOSE SHITS" AND HE DID NOT FIX IT
JACOB WAS SAD
SO HE DECIDED TO COMMIT SUICIDE
HE WENT TO THE LOCAL CLIFF AND THEN LOOKED OVER THE EDGE
"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD" HE SAID
SUDDENLY A GUST OF WIND PULLED SIR JACOB BACKWARDS
HE FELL BACKWARDS
AND THEN FELL ON THE GROUND
"WHAT I WANTED TO FALL THE OTHER WAY" SAID JACOB
THEN GUS AND HIS FRIEND PIPPIN CAME RUNNING INTO THE SCENE IN SLOW MOTION
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWOOWWURRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" SAID THEM IN SLOW MOTION
JACOB TURNED AROUND
"OH SHOCK HORRORS" HE SCREAMED AND THEN STOOD UP
PIPPIN SAID "DON'T DO IT, JACOB, YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR"
JACOB WAS THEN FORCED AWAY FROM THE CLIFF
"BUT I WANTED TO COMMIT SUICIDE" SAID SIR JACOB
"DON'T WORRY" SAID PIPPIN AND GUS. "WE'LL DO IT WHEN WE GET HOME"
AND THEY DID
THE NEXT DAY SIR JACOB WOKE UP AND NOTICED THAT IT WAS ALL A DREAM
THE END
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 10
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB WENT OVER TO HIS FRIEND MASTER RICHARD'S HOUSE FOR A TEA PARTY
THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE EVER SO MUCH FUN
SIR JACOB GOT ON HIS HORSIE AND GALLOPED TO THE CASTLE TOWN OF FUCK.
LOL.
HE WENT UP TO RICHARD'S CASTLE AND GOT OF HIS HORSE.
"GOOD BOY" HE SAID, AND GAVE IT FOOD.
"WOAH THERE" SAID JACOB TO THE YE OLDE GATES.
THERE WAS NO ANSWER
"WOAH THERE" HE SAID AGAIN
THERE WAS STILL NO ANSWER
"FUCKING WOAH THERE MOTHER FUCKING CUNT ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING BITCH" SAID SIR JACOB
THEN MASTER RICHARD WALKED OUT AND SAID "FUCK YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CUNT" SAID HE
OH NO
JACOB AND RICHARD ARE FIGHTING
THAT IS VERY BAD
BUT THEN JACOB SAID "LET US STOP THE FIGHTING AND GO INSIDE FOR TEA, I APOLOGISE FOR YOUR FUCKING GAY FACE".
MASTER RICHARD DID NOT LIKE THAT COMMENT
"HOLY SHIT FUCK YOU SIR JACOB" SAID MASTER RICHARD. "I'M GOING TO DECLARE WAR ON YOUR TOWN"
SO HE DID
HE GOT LOTS OF FIGHTER JETS TO BOMB SIR JACOBS TOWN. BOMB THINGS WENT.
AAAAAAAAH PEOPLE SCREAMED.
SIR JACOB DECIDED TO GET BOMBS TO BOMB THE CASTLE OF MASTER RICHARD
THEY WERE HAVING BAD WARS. PEOPLE WERE FIGHTING AND DYING :(
BUT THEN SUDDENLY MASTER RICHARD'S DAD CAME IN THE ROOM AND SAID
"MASTER, PLEASE STOP PLAYING. IT'S SUPPERTIME. YOU CAN PLAY YOUR WAR GAME TOMORROW". MASTER RICHARD GOT TIRED, CALLED OFF THE WAR, AND THEN HAD HIS SUPPER AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON SIR JACOB WAS THERE TOO.,
"LET'S HAVE THAT TEA PARTY NOW" SAID MASTER RICHARD
"OK" SAID SIR JACOB
SO THEY HAD THEIR TEA PARTY, BUT WHEN SIR JACOB DRANK THE TEA IT WAS ACTUALLY POISON AND HE DIED. OH NO.
"AHAHAHAHAH" SAID MASTER RICHARD. BUT THEN HE ACCIDENTALLY DRANK HIS TEA TOO AND IT WAS POSON AND MASTER RICHARD DIED TOO.
"AHAHAHAHAH" SAID THE TEA
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 11
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB WAS READING THE NEWSPAPAR
HE TURNED THE PAGE AND SAID "OH WHUT THIS THEN" AND LOOKED AT AN ARTICLE
THE ARTICLE SAID "SIR JACOB ASSASINATION PLAN. POLICE INVESTIGATION"
SIR JACOB GOT WORRIED. "OH FUCK SHIT" HE SAID "SOMEONE IS TRYING TO FUCKING ASSASINATE ME"
THE NEXT DAY AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT SUFFERING FROM PARANOIA JACOB WENT TO GUS'S HOUSE
"GUS YOU FAT FUCK' SAID SIR JACOB "HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO GET ASSASINATED"
"OPEN UP YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT"
BUT THERE WAS NO ANSWER
THERE WAS A LETTER AT THE DOOR SAYING "GONE FOR THE WEEKEND"
"OH FUCK" SAID SIR JACOB
SO SIR JACOB WENT OVER TO THE QUEEN OF MARKENTIJUN'S HOUSE.
"OPEN UP YOU BITCH" SAID SIR JACOB
THE QUEEN LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW
"OH MY GOODNESS I'M HAVING A FUCKING PERIOD" SAID THE QUEEN
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE YOU WHORE" SAID SIR JACOB, SIR JACOB WALKED AWAY.
HE THEN WENT TOO PIPPIN'S HOUSE.
PIPPIN WAS THERE
THE DOOR WAS OPEN SO JACOB WALKED IN
"OH HELP PIPPIN" SAID JACOB "I'M GOING TO GET ASSASINATED YOU FUCKER"
BUT THERE WAS NO ANSWER
SIR JACOB WALKED DOWN THE HALL AND SAW PIPPIN LYING ON THE COUCH NAKED.
"HOLY SHIT" SAID SIR JACOB, CAUSING PIPPIN TO JUMP
"OH MY APOLOGIES" SAID PIPPIN. "MY CLOTHES FELL OFF ACCIDENTALLY WHEN I WAS WATCHING PORN. WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR"
"I NEED A PLACE TO HIDE BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GET ASSASINATED" SAID SIR JACOB
"OH BAD NEWS EH WOT. SURE YOU CAN STAY HERE AND LIVE WITH ME" SAID PIPPIN
"YEAH WE CAN WATCH PORN ALL DAY LOL." SAID SIR JACOB AS HIS CLOTHES ACCIDENTALLY FELL OFF. THEY THEN STARTED TO HAVE SEX.
SUDDENLY THE QUEEN WALKED IN/. "OH I DID NOT NOTICE YOU WERE BUSY" SAID THE QUEEN. "OF COURSE WE ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB BITCH" SAID PIPPIN. "MAY I JOIN IN" SAID TH QUEEN
"OK" SAID PIPPIN AND SIR JACOB. THEY CONTINUED HAVING AN ORGY.
THE NEXT DAY THEY ALL WOKE UP. PIPPIN AND SIR JACOB GOT THE QUEEN PREGNANT FIVE TIMES.
"HMM. WELL I'D BETTER GET HOME" SAID SIR JACOB. HE HAD FORGOTTEN THAT SOMEONE WAS GOING TO ASSASSINATE HIM
"BE BACK SOON" SAID THE QUEEN "HELP ME RAISE MY CHILD MY LOVE"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH" SAID SIR JACOB TO THE QUEEN
SO JACOB WALKED OUT OF THE DOOR
BUT THEN SUDDENLY............BANG!
SIR JACOB GOT SHOT IN THE HEAD. "OUCH" HE SAID
THEN HE FELL OVER AND DIED
POLICE STOPPED THE INVESTIGATION BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T FIND ANY EVIDENCE AND THEY COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK ANY FURTHER.
THE END LOL.
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 12
ONE DAY
SIR JACOB WAS HAVING A TEA PARTY
WHEN SUDDENLY HE ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED THE TEA BAG ONTO HIS DICK
"FUCK YOU, LORD CUNTINGTON" SAID SIR JACOB TO LORD CUNTINGTON.
LORD CUNTINGTON IS A FAGGOT.
"OH MY GOD MY DICK FUCKING BURNS FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" SAID SIR JACOB
"OH OH" SAID LORD CUNTINGTON. "I'LL HELP YOU"
SO LORD CUNTINGTON GRABBED A CLOTH AND PUT WATER ON IT. HE THEN RAN BACK TO SIR JACOB.
"MY FUCKING DICK IS ON FIRE" HE YELPED
LORD CUNTINGTON THEN GRABBED JACOB'S DICK AND STARTED TO RUB THE CLOTH ON IT SO THAT THE BURNING SENSATION COULD GO AWAY.
RUB, RUB, BACK AND FORTH.
SUDDENLY SIR JACOB DID NOT LIKE THIS
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU FUCKING FAGGOT"
"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT" SAID LORD CUNTINGTON. "I'M A FUCKING FAGGOT. I'M A FUCKING FAGGOT"
SIR JACOB KICKED LORD CUNTINGTON OUT OF THE WINDOW. HE THEN FELL. 12 STORIES DOWN. AND HE THEN DIED.
SIR JACOB THEN LOOKED AT MR STUFFED ANIMAL.
"MY DICK WASN'T REALLY BURNING" HE SAID.
THE END.
SIR JACOB AND THE KNIGHT OF CAMELOT STORY 13
ONE DAY
THE QUEEN OF MARKENTIJUN IS A FUCKING FAGGOT
OH WHAT A LOVELY DAY FOR SIR JACOB TO DIE
SO SIR JACOB WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING
WHEN SUDDENLY
TO BE CONTINUED :O
RIGHT NOW
WHEN SUDDENLY
SIR JACOB WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING
WHEN SUDDENLY
SIR JACOB WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING
WHEN SUDDENLY
SIR JACOB WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING
WHEN SUDDENLY
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWVVVVVVVVVVHSBDSSDSDDDD
"OH NO YOU DON'T" SAID PIPPIN TO SIR JACOB
BUT SIR JACOB WAS ABOUT TO JUMP
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" SAID PIPPIN IN SLOW MOTION
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE
HOWEVER PIPPIN RAN TOO FAST AND GOT PUSHED BY SIR JACOB
SIR JACOB DID NOT JUMP BUT PIPPIN WHO WAS RUNNING TOO FAST OFF THE BUILDING ACTUALLY DID
HE DIED
THE FUNERAL WAS HELD IN THE TOWN OF FUCKYOU
BUT THEN PIPPIN CAME BACK TO LIFE AND SAID "FUCK YOU SIR JACOB"
AND THEN HE ATE SIR JACOB'S FACE
THE END